Thursday, 17 November 2011

臨終病人最後悔的五件事情

讓護士告訴你:臨終病人最後悔的五件事情
最近有一篇文章在Facebook, twitter上頻頻被轉,Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed,它的原文是一名叫Bronnie Ware的護士寫的。Bronnie Ware專門照顧那些臨終病人,所以有機會聽到很多人臨終前說出他們一生裡最後悔的事。她作了一個概括,有5件事是大多數人最後悔的。
很 好奇為什麼這麼多人轉載它,也許,因為這是一種你永遠無法提前經歷的事吧。你不會時常面對別人的死亡,你更不怎麼時常有機會聽到一個臨終前的人告訴你他最 後悔的事是什麼。而即便你聽到,你又會覺得自己來日方長。我們似乎永遠無法感同身受;也許,只有我們自己的生命到了盡頭時,我們才會意識到自己究竟錯過了 什麼,最後悔什麼。
1. 我希望當初我有勇氣過自己真正想要的生活,而不是別人希望我過的生活。
這是所有後悔的事中最常聽到的。
心 理學上有個理論,較之那些我們做過的事,人們後悔的往往是那些沒做的事。所以當人們在生命盡頭往回看時,往往會發現有好多夢想應該實現,卻沒有實現。你的 生活方式、你的工作、你的感情、你的伴侶,其實我們多少人過著的是別人希望你過的生活,而不是自己真正想要的生活——又可能,一直以來你把別人希望你過的 生活當作是你想要的生活。
當你疾病纏身時,才發現其實自己應該而且可以放下很多顧慮追求你要的生活,似乎已經晚了一點。
2. 我希望當初我沒有花這麼多精力在工作上。
Ware說這是她照顧過的每一個男病人會說的話。因為工作,他們錯過了關注孩子成長的樂趣,錯過了愛人溫暖的陪伴,這是他們最深的後悔與愧疚。其實對於現在的職業女性來說,這也將成為一個問題。
如果把你的生活變簡單些,你也許會發現自己在做很多你以為你需要做其實不需要你做的事。騰出那些事占的空間,可能你會過得開心一點。
3. 我希望當初我能有勇氣表達我的感受。
太多的人壓抑自己的感受與想法,只是為了“天下太平”,不與別人產生矛盾。漸漸他們就成了中庸之輩,無法成為他們可以成為的自己。其實,有很多疾病與長期壓抑憤怒與消極情緒有關。
也許當你直言不諱,你會得罪某些人。但可能從此以後因為你的中肯,你們不打不相識;又或者翻臉,正好讓你擺脫這種需要你壓抑自己感受才能維持的累人關系。不管哪一種結果,你都是贏家,不是嗎?——不過當然,直言不諱還是有底線的。
4. 我希望當初我能和朋友保持聯系。
老朋友的好,我們總要到自己有事了的時候才會想到。
多少人因為自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾經閃亮的友情。很多人臨終前終於放下錢、放下權,卻放不下心中的情感與牽掛。朋友也好,愛人也罷,其實生命最後的日子裡,他們才是我們最深的惦念。
5. 我希望當初我能讓自己活過開心點。
也許有點出乎意料,但這一條也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最後才發現,“快樂是選擇”。
他們在自己既定習慣和生活方式中太久了,習慣了掩飾,習慣了偽裝,習慣了在人前堆起笑臉。就像五月天的那首歌,“你不是真正的快樂,你的笑只是你給的保護色”。他們以為是生活讓他們不快樂,其實是他們自己讓自己不快樂了。
是只有臨終的時候才會發現,別人怎麼看你又有什麼關系呢,傻也好,怪也罷,能有真心的笑,比什麼都值得。

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

撒玛黎雅的中国小孩悦悦

我想大家都知道在这个月的13日,在中国广东佛山发生了一件大新闻,一位小女孩(悦悦)被两辆货车撞倒,在7分钟内,18名路人路过但都视而不见,漠然而去,最后一名拾荒阿姨陈贤妹上前施以援手。以下是我在YouTube找到的短片;(如果你看过了,我就建议你不要再看。)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLde8f2zb1U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFBwhIvp_zY&feature=related

看完了这新闻及短片,我心里真的觉的很伤心及生气,为何那位司机能做出这样的事情,更可恶的是那18位路过的路人,尽然没有一位去伸出援手,在第19位才出现了一位阿姨伸出援手。这让我想起了福音里的“撒玛黎雅人”的比喻;

 慈善的撒玛黎雅人 (路10:25-37)

有一个法学士起来,试探耶稣说:「师傅,我应当做什么,才能获得永生﹖」耶稣对他说:「法律上记载了什么﹖你是怎样读的﹖」他答说:「你应当全心、全灵、全力、全意爱上主,你的天主,并爱近人如你自己。」耶稣向他说:「你答应得对。你这样做,必得生活。」但是,他愿意显示自己理直,又对耶稣说:「毕竟谁是我的近人﹖」耶稣答说:「有一个人从耶路撒冷下来,到耶里哥去,遭遇了强盗;他们剥去他的衣服,并加以击伤,将他半死半活的丢下走了。正巧有一个司祭在那条路上下来,看了看他,便从旁边走过去。又有一个肋未人,也是一样;他到了那里,看了看,也从旁边走过去。但有一个撒马黎雅人,路过他那里,一看见就动了怜悯的心,遂上前,在他的伤处注上油与酒,包扎好了,又扶他骑上自己的牲口,把他到带客店里,小心照料他。第二天,取出两个银钱交给店主说:请你小心看护他!不论余外花费多少,等我回来时,必要补还你。你以为这三个人中,谁是那遭遇那强盗者的近人呢﹖」那人答说:「是怜悯他的那人。」耶稣遂给他说:「你去,也照样做吧!  

福音当中,法学士问起了谁是他的近人?各位可以参考路加福音第1611页,耶稣所说的近人是指所有的人类,不分种族和宗教,不分朋友和敌人,凡是圆颅方趾的人,都是近人。但是,在这事件当中,悦悦太迟遇见他的近人了,那位阿姨在第19位才出现。如果这位阿姨能早点出现,所不定能改变一切。(悦悦已在10月21日离开人世了)

在刚过去的主日当中,Father Edward 在英语弥撒的讲道当中和教友们分享了这起事件。他提醒教友们应时时注意身边的朋友及家人,当他们发生困难时,请伸出援手去帮助他们。不要做一位自私自利的人,因为耶稣已经告诉我们了,
"你应当爱近人,如你自己。"(玛22:39)。

 











Monday, 26 September 2011

This is beautiful! Try not to cry.

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'
The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'
Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'
The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else..... 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could'.
Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
'Dear Mom,
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'where was He when I needed him?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you... To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore the cancer is all gone.. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

Thursday, 8 September 2011

一个哭泣的男人

时间:9月7日        地点:办公室

时间大约在下午3时左右,我的同事接到了总公司打来的电话:总公司通知了他的extension不成功,所以他必须在下星期离开公司(退休,我的同事今年55岁了)。

他把这个消息告诉了我们的经理。我们都替他感到惋惜,当另一方面也替他感到高兴;毕竟他在我们的公司已经工作了35年,也是时候退下来,好好休息了。

所以,我和几位同事就马上集合开会,要替我们这位举行欢送会。正当我们讨论到新致勃勃使,我的这一位同事在自己的座位哭起来来了。 我们并没有感到很惊讶,毕竟我们知道这为同事还有两位孩子还在求学(都还在高中)。他是全家的经济来源,虽然妻子有帮忙分担,当靠妻子的能力不能养活全家。以他的年龄来说,现在的市场已经找不到比这份薪水更高的工作。

我看了,真是感到伤感,我离开了现场;我们现场也没有其他的同事上前安慰他,因为他是一位死要面子的人。过了几分钟,我回来了。看了看我的这位同事,他停止了哭泣,并且继续工作。我们其他人也继续工作,公司恢复了平静。

晚上,在睡觉前,我为这位男同事作了祈祷,祈求上主能开启他的心灵。失去了这份工作,不代表世界末日,所谓东家不打,打西家。经过了这一幅画面,深深让我体会到了一件事情;我们应该时时做好准备,不管是在工作、家庭或信仰的路上。不要事情到严重不可收拾的地步,才来想办法要怎么解决。

就好想玛窦福音十童女的比喻,我们必需向那五位明智的童女,除了带灯,也不要忘记带油。不要学那五位糊涂的 童女,只带灯不带油。因为耶稣说:
[所以,你们该醒悟,因为你们不知道那日子,也不知道那时辰。】 ~ 玛25:13 




Sunday, 4 September 2011

REALLY WORTH READING

It's another morning......... Again I have to go to the office.

Ohh!! this is me... I shouted, having a glance at my ‘photo’ in today's news paper.

But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??

Strange...

One second.......Let me think, last night when I
was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest,
but I don't remember anything after that, I think
I had a sound sleep.

It's morning now, ohh....... It's already 10:00 AM,
where is my coffee?

I will be late for office and my boss will get a
chance to irritate me..

Where is everyone...??? I screamed.

"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me
check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying......

But why some of them are crying....

WHAT IS THIS??? I’m lying there on the floor...

"I AM HERE" ....... I shouted!!! No one is listening.


"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" .... I screamed once again!!
No one is interested in me.

They all were looking at me on the bed.

I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself...

Where is my wife, my children, my Mom, my Dad, my
friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were
crying...still trying to console each other.

My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.

My little kid was not sure what happened, but he
was crying just because his Mom was sad..

How can I go without saying to my kid that I
really love him,

I really do care for him. ??

How can I go without saying to my wife that she is
really the most beautiful and most caring wife in
this world..??

How can I go without saying to my parents that I’m
what I am ... just because of you??

How can I go without telling my friends that
without them perhaps I would have done most of the
wrong things in my life... thanks for being there
always when I need them...and sorry for not being
there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and
trying to hide his tears....

Oh.... he was once my best friend, but a small
misunderstanding made us part, and we both have a
strong enough ego to keep us disconnected.

I went there..... And offered him my hand, "Dear
friend.... I just want to say sorry for
everything, we are still best friends, please
forgive me."


No response from other side, what the hell?? He is
still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even
then!!!

I really don't care for such people.

But one second...... It seems he is not able to see
me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.

My goodness...... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like
crying...

"OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE
DAYS..."

I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my
friends realize that how much I love them.....

My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.

"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.

She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard
these words because I never said this to her.

"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more timeplzzzzz...

I cried...

One more chance please... to hug my child, to make
my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud of me
at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and
thanks for still being in my life....

Then I looked up and cried!!

I shouted.......

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she
gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I was sleeping....

Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...

I hugged her and whispered....

"YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE

IN THIS UNIVERSE..... I REALLY LOVE YOU, DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her
face with some tears in her eyes, still I’m
happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."

SO, now it's not late... Forget the egos, the
Past... and express love to others.......

Be friendly...

Keep smiling...... forever....It is another chance
For you...

Please let us do things more sincerely...

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Be a generous giver while you are still living....

A rich man who once asked his priest, "Why does everybody call me stingy when everyone knows that when I die I will leave everything I have to this temple?"

The priest said:

 
"There once was a pig and a cow. The pig was unpopular and the cow was loved by all in the village. This puzzled the pig.

The pig said to the cow, 'People speak warmly of your good nature and your helpful attitude. They think you are very generous because each day you give them milk, butter and cheese.
But how about me? I give them everything I have. I give them the famous sausages, bacon and ham i.e. my entire body.
Yet no one likes me. Why is that?'
                             
                                                                           
The priest continued: "Do you know what the cow answered?
                        
The cow said, '
Perhaps it is because I give while I am still living.'

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

4 个月了。。。。。

说好不要三分钟热度,最后还是三分钟热度。已经有4个月没有写Blog了(这只是第二遍)。

过去4个月的日子还是一样,每天就是作工和忙教堂的事务。接着就是年尾了,好可怕。好像什么事情都没做到。

决定了,至少要好好写Blog!加油!!!1